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IF I WROTE FOR "LAKE SHORE"....


...This is how it would go.

When Lake Shore released its 8 cast members to the media Monday night, major media channels - like PerezHilton.com, Access Hollywood, and CTV News - scrambled to spread news about the first (Canadian) television program to compete with the notorious MTV hit Jersey Shore. Now, Lake Shore's a hit, before its pilot. Can't say the same about Jersey Shore, now, can we - America?

Being Lake Shore's first exclusive blogger EVER, I have decided to create authority - and the predictions - to write my own hypothetical synopsis of the new Lake Shore episodes. If anyone would like to insert their own predictions for Tommy, Arber, Salem, Joey, Sibel, Robyn, Karolina, and Anni Mei, please don't hesitate to post them under here or my Facebook statuses. Enjoy :)


Who will get together? Sibel and Tommy - after a drunken night of fist-pumping and grinding at the club.

Who will get into a fight? Sibel and Robyn - after Sibel calls her a stereotypically racist Jewish name, and Robyn smashes her to the floor. Joey, Arber, and/or Tommy will accidentally slaughter one or each other in a playful decking match game, or purposely slaughter each other after an unexpected "creepy" visit from "grenades."

Who will hook up? Hmm, let's list all the combinations: Sibel and Anni Mei, Anni Mei and Karolina, Karolina and Robyn, Karolina, and Sibel, Robyn and Joey, Anni Mei and Arber, Sibel and Tommy, and - finally - Salem and a spicy Latino man. Yeeee

As for individual storylines...


Anni Mei - She loves to go-go dance, which is awesome, because Arber gets her some more (modeling) gigs through his various club connections. But, can she keep up?


Salem - Speaking of career demands, Salem is further expanding himself in the fashion industry, which means he's super busy. Will Lake Shore interfere with - or improve - his success?


Karolina - is struggling with her sexuality. Does she like women or men - or both? Rawr :)


And if Lake Shore is "real"-ly anything like Jersey Shore...

Karolina and Anni Mei want to tell Sibel about Tommy and his cheating ways - but through an email (not in 19th century letter format, ahem, Jersey Shore).

Anni Mei develops some self-esteem issues, as she grows more involved in the modeling industry.

Robyn talks &*%^ about Sibel - and then Karolina and Anni Mei. Tsk tsk, Robyn...

Anni Mei soon discovers or reveals her obsession with lemons.

The guys pull out girls from the club, and - guess what - they're from the US. Nutella - I mean, oranges - anyone?