I'm sure most of you are familiar by now with all the Chuck Norris jokes. Well, Josh just had me "Google" Chuck Norris, and this is what came up! HILARIOUS!!
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Goofing Off On Google...
I've been super busy this week, and I admit it, I have no post prepared. And my son is not helping! He keeps distracting me from my work by sharing funny things he finds on the Internet. (When he's supposed to be doing his homework!) Anyway, he had me laughing so hard at this.
I'm sure most of you are familiar by now with all the Chuck Norris jokes. Well, Josh just had me "Google" Chuck Norris, and this is what came up! HILARIOUS!!
I'm sure most of you are familiar by now with all the Chuck Norris jokes. Well, Josh just had me "Google" Chuck Norris, and this is what came up! HILARIOUS!!
Kreativ Blogger Award
Now you will all know the truth about how unbalanced I am. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Awww, never mind. I guess it does.
Annnnnyway…
One of my favorite author friends, Heidi Willis, presented me with the Kreativ Blogger Award back in (cough) February. And I’m only just now getting around to officially thanking her for it and following the directions that go along with accepting it.
I’m supposed to write ten things about myself and then pass the award on to a few bloggers I enjoy. So, here goes!
Ten Random Things…
1. All my spices are alphabetized.
2. I tend to “speak” in movie quotes. A lot. (I do it often enough that my kids and hubby can usually complete the next line of dialogue when I start it. I know, that’s bad, right?)
3. I laugh really hard at my own jokes. Even if nobody else does.
4. I ALWAYS read the manual.
5. I’m a slow reader and try to make up for it by reading 2-3 books at the same time.
6. The minute I finish a book I really like, I immediately do an Internet search for every interview with the author I can find.
7. I’ve tricked my son into watching a variety of musicals as well as the first three Twilight episodes.
8. I never got to perform in a play in high school, but got the lead in the first college play I tried out for.
9. Um…I started running out of ideas here, so I just asked my daughter to give me a random fact about myself and she said, “You hold one-sided conversations with the dog.” Yeah. It’s true, I do. I say something. Then I make him say something. Then I respond. And so on. It’s sad really.
10. Okay, this last one is going to make me sound really mean, but I purposely park next to cars that are poorly parked (like on huge angles over the line and stuff.) I park right in the center of my space which typically makes it difficult for the bad parker to get back into their car. I feel like I’m performing a public service when I do this, though. I’m helping that driver become aware of the need to park more considerately in the future.
Now, let me send you on to some blogs I enjoy--beside’s Heidi's, of course!
Teresa is über talented and funny. A writer, homeschooling mom and unlike me, she grows stuff her family can actually eat!
Freelance journalist and author Kristine Meldrum Denholm shares interesting posts and encouragement for writers.
Annette Piper is a talented jewelry artist who blogs about her awesome creations and her life on a cattle farm in rural Australia.
Nancy blogs about her faith and life in the Midwest.
Ivy is a talented singer and writer. She blogs about her family, faith and living life to the fullest.
Sup Dawg
Soooo…I was chatting with my boy the other day. And I was telling him how I’d met a woman whose kids were in their older teens and twenties, we were comparing war parenting stories when she’d joked, “My kids live for those moments when I use words wrong.”
Josh frowned at me, so I explained, “she meant slang.”
Aaahhh. His furrowed brow cleared.
“You know, I wouldn’t mind learning the meaning of some of the different slang terms you and your friends use?” I said, plopping down onto the couch beside him as he skillfully battled bad guys on his X-Box.
I caught him in a generous mood because instead of rolling his eyes as I might have expected, he was happy to expand my knowledge in this area. Now some of you younger, hipper moms may know all this stuff, but I didn’t--at least not all of it. So figured I’d share the info for the unenlightened, like me.
Just for the record, Josh assured me that “cool” is still cool, and “awesome” is still awesome. But as far as some of the newer stuff... (For simplicity, I’ve put the slang term in bold within a sentence.)
“Gotta bounce!”
Josh assured me we’re not talking about jiggling body parts here! It just means “I must depart from your presence now.”
“Let’s chill at Josh’s.”
“It means ‘hang out.’” Josh told me.
“Even if I have the heat on?”
“Even then.”
“Edward and Bella are going out.”
Varies with age. But for you parents of middle-schoolers, no worries. If your son or daughter is “going out” with someone, they’re not actually going anywhere. It just means they passed one of those notes--er, text messages along the lines of: “I like you, do you like me, circle YES or NO.”
“I’m planning to hook up with so-and-so later today.”
If you EVER say this in front of your teens, be prepared for them to start ROFL (rolling on the floor laughing). When I say “hook up,” I mean “connect with.” When teens say it, they mean, um… “really connect with,” if you know what I mean.
“He looks so hot!”
A friend of mine innocently said this about a hard-working repair man last summer, and yes, her kids were ROFL! She’d just informed everyone, her hubby included, that the guy was really, REALLY good looking.
“Ha! She totally owned you!”
This is not a throwback to indentured servitude or anything. Just means she totally dominated you in a game or something.
“Hey, Shoddy.”
Apparently, even some twenty-somethings can be out of the loop. My 20-year-old daughter was working at a soup kitchen. One of the gentleman diners asked her a question. Once he’d gotten his answer, he said, “Thanks shoddy, you can go.”
When she shared the story with one of her fellow workers, he cracked up. “He called you ‘shoddy’?”
“Yeah, why? Doesn’t it just mean ‘shorty’?” (My daughter’s only a couple of inches taller than me, which isn’t saying much!)
“Uh, no,” her friend replied. “It means, ‘hot girl’!”
“Oh.”
“Shotty front!” (Not to be confused with “shoddy”above.)
Shotty is derived from “shotgun.” The person who calls it first gets dibs on the front passenger seat in a car.
“Dude, that’s sick!”
You’re thinking gross or disgusting, right? Actually, it means the opposite. It’s so awesome, it’s…sick!
“Oh Snap!”
Pretty much like “Oh darn!” A polite way to say you’ve made a mistake.
“Sweet!”
While I automatically think of chocolate here. Josh explained it’s just another synonym for “cool.”
“His new car’s lookin’ tight.”
“Um…that all the bolts are screwed on and everything is holding together well?” I ventured.
“No, mom.” Josh laughed. “It means cool, excellent, awesome.”
“He’s such a tool.”
“He’s handy with a wrench or hammer?” Wrong again. It means that guy is a flirt, a total player.
“Don’t be a chicken, we’ll do the Bungee Jump together! YOLO!”
Not to be confused with that delicious milk chocolate and caramel candy, ROLO, YOLO means “You Only Live Once!” So go for it!
Final Notes: Apparently, there’s an unspoken rule that “grown-ups” aren’t supposed to use this slang. But whatevah! Why waste all this newfound knowledge? YOLO!
Image by: Rodrigo Favera
They Call Me Mrs. Bowne…or Not?
What should I have my son’s teenage friends call me?
This issue abruptly arose when a group of his friends stopped by one Friday afternoon, as they often do. I sat at the kitchen table chatting with a few of them for a while. After they left me, my husband who had been listening to the conversation commented, did you notice that Nice Girl called you “Holly” while everyone else called you “Mrs. Bowne”?
I hadn’t. At least not consciously. When I thought back on the conversation though, I suppose it had registered dimly at the time, but I’d disregarded it in the flurry of our chatter.
Nice Girl was one friend I hadn’t seen in a while. She lives near two dear friends of mine, also moms of teens, who she’s accustomed to referring to by first name. In fact, one friend is so adamant about this that she actually refuses to respond if the teens attempt calling her “Mrs.”
Now I suppose I could correct the young lady. But the problem is, I’m a bit conflicted about this whole issue myself.
During my own childhood, this question never arose. All the parents of my friends were referred to as “Mr.” and “Mrs.” To this day, even though I’m 49 years old, if I were to run into the parents of a childhood friend, I would probably STILL call them “Mr.” and “Mrs.” (Although logically this seems silly now.)
Even when my own kids were preschool and elementary age, this wasn’t an issue. Whether it was perpetuated by classroom teachers, “All right class, can we thank Mrs. Bowne for her help today?”or simply because it was the way my generation had been raised, parents were unequivocally “Mr.” and Mrs.”
I know it’s supposed to be a sign of respect for your elders to refer to them as “Mr.” and “Mrs.” but before I had kids I recall thinking that it was ridiculous to force people to be called “Mr.” or “Mrs.” if they didn’t like it. Wasn’t it being disrespectful to address people in this formal way if it wasn’t their preference? Shouldn’t teaching our kids respect for adults be based on instilling courtesy and good behavior rather than using titles? Or do the titles matter?
One other thing I’ll toss into the mix, Nice Girl is a graduating high school senior--nearly 18 years old. An adult. In fact, now that I think about it, whenever I meet any of Ashleigh’s college friends, I introduce myself by my first name because they’re all 18 years old and up.
I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this. Do you have kids address you as “Mr. / Ms. / Mrs.” or by first name? And if it’s “Mr. / Ms. / Mrs.” at what point do you make the switch?
Image
I’m In Love!
Well, it’s Valentine’s Day week, and I’m in LOVE…
With my iPhone!
My hubby went out a couple of months ago and switched our entire family from regular “old-fashioned” cell phones to iPhones. Initially, I was dismayed. First of all, I did not have time to learn how to use an entirely new phone. Second, I saw no reason to complicate my life by carrying around a phone with which I could access the Internet, read e-mails, etc.
Added stress and confusion, I thought. Who needs it?
Well, fast forward a few months and can I just say this phone is the COOLEST! Total nerd that I am, I’ve read the entire manual. I didn’t allow myself to add any “apps” to the phone until I’d finished. My son, however, is the App King. He’s got loads of them! One app he particularly enjoys is called ROFL (Rolling On Floor Laughing). He recently had me laughing over a ROFL list titled: Truths for Mature Humans. He was reading them out loud to me as I was preparing dinner and I found many of them SO true, I finally insisted he send me the list. I won’t put all 32 items on here, but I figured I’d share what I considered ten of the most profound “truths”:
1. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
2. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. Was learning cursive really necessary?
5. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
7. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
8. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I honestly believe I did not make any changes to.
9. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
10. I would rather carry 10 overloaded bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.
Awww, what the hey! Let’s make it 11 truths…
11. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey--but I bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from three feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
Happy Valentine’s Day Week!
The Real Way to Handle Stress
I poked at the baked chicken and broccoli on my dinner plate and sighed. “I’m not really hungry.”
“Why not?” Josh forked in another mouthful, chewing industriously.
“Uh…I think I ate too much earlier,” I mumbled.
He arched a brow. “Moooom? Were you stress eating again?”
I arched a brow right back at him and getting up from the dinner table, walked over to his homework spot to point out the towering pile of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup wrappers.
“Yeah, well…” At least he had the grace to look sheepish.
My son and I were both under a lot of pressure last week. He had high school finals to contend with, and I had a writing project with a tight deadline. Unfortunately, even after years of careful parenting, I’ve managed to pass my terrible stress-eating habit onto my boy. We both chowed down on junk food with abandon.
The thing is, I know it’s not healthy. I think every stress eater knows it’s not healthy. So why do we do it? Why does our body crave stuff that’s not good for us whenever we’re under pressure?
I “Googled” the topic and discovered one reason may be because under stress, our body produces extra cortisol, a.k.a. “the stress hormone.” And cortisol causes cravings for sweet and salty food, a.k.a. “junk food.” In the olden days, cortisol served a purpose, helping people bulk up on food to sustain them through times of scarcity. However, here in the suburban Midwest, where food is rarely scarce, we simply bulk up. Period.
Another reason we may stress eat is simply nervous energy. Some people bite their nails or grind their teeth. And some people eschew the unopened bag of baked tortilla chips and instead munch on Cheetos, or endless strands of Twizzlers, or uh…stuff like that, maybe.
Then I Googled, “healthy ways to deal with stress,” and found a bunch of common sense advice from experts. After contemplating it all, I thought, Really? And came up with my own, more practical advice (at least I think it’s more practical):
EXPERT TIP #1: EXERCISE.
My advice: FUGGEDABOUT IT.
I actually enjoy exercising, but now isn’t the time! (Okay, maybe squeeze in a few daily stretches to stay loose.)
EXPERT TIP #2: AVOID CAFFEINE AND SUGAR; EAT HEALTHY, BALANCED MEALS.
My advice: NOT. HAPPENING!
My daughter’s away at college and my boy is 17 years old. They both know a healthy diet includes fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meats, and high-grain breads. I’ve done my job. So if I choose to eat three Snickers Bars for dinner one night, what’s the big deal? The key is, don’t force yourself to eat the healthy food on top of it. And voilá! Weight gain successfully avoided! But DO load up on vitamins! This helps counteract the effect of all the unhealthy eating. And as far as caffeine, I say drink up! This counteracts the sugar crash you’re sure to experience from ingesting all the junk food and keeps you going well into the wee hours.
EXPERT TIP #3: RELAX: GET PLENTY OF SLEEP, TAKE LONG BATHS WITH SCENTED CANDLES, GET A MASSAGE, CALL A FRIEND, OR CURL UP WITH A GOOD BOOK.
My advice: SERIOUSLY. NOT HAPPENING!
C’mon! One of the big reasons we’re stressed is because we don’t have enough time to do what needs to be done. So how are we supposed to fit in all this great stress-relieving stuff?! You can do all those things when the crisis is over. Think of them as rewards for a stressful situation well handled.
Disclaimer: I am NOT a medical expert, I’m only playing one on this blog. This advice is purely for entertainment purposes and any similarity to real advice is a bizarre coincidence.
So how do you handle stress? Any healthy tips?
Girl Sleepovers vs. Boy Sleepovers
Now, I’ve become aware that when boys hang out together, it’s a very different experience than when girls hang out together. Where girls like to giggle and talk, boys like to shoot each other.
I became aware of this during one evening event when my son and some of his friends, armed with Airsoft guns, came clambering upstairs from their basement sanctuary to head outside because one of the boys had volunteered to be the target.
“What?! Wait a minute, you can’t shoot those guns at people!” I cried.
“Don’t worry, mom. Ronnie wants to get shot at.” My son patiently explained.
I turned to Ronnie. “Ronald, you’re a smart kid. Don’t you think letting people shoot at you is not the wisest choice?”
Ronnie grinned. “Well, Mrs. Bowne. There’s a part of me that thinks it’s not wise. But then, there’s this bigger 16-year-old boy part of me that thinks it sounds really fun.”
Oi!
Over the Christmas break, aside from hanging out with his friends nearly every day, my social boy participated in multiple sleepovers. Growing up, I don’t recall my brothers ever having sleepovers—back then it was more of a “girl” thing—but no more.
And now, after hosting more than a few of them, I figured I’d share some of the interesting differences I’ve noticed between Girl Sleepovers and Boy Sleepovers.
Girl Sleepovers – Mom goes into the basement to replenish snacks and drinks to discover girls snuggled under blankets, talking, giggling and/or watching movies.
Boy Sleepovers – Mom goes into the basement to replenish snacks and drinks to discover a few boys using the padded exercise mat as a protective fortress against the other boys who are intently shooting (airsoft guns again!) at them from across the room…INSIDE THE HOUSE!
Girl Sleepovers – “Mom, can we borrow your makeup kit and nail polish to play with?
Boy Sleepovers – “Dad, can we borrow your throwing knives to play with?”
Girl Sleepovers – Girls drive to Blockbuster to rent popular chick flicks such as P.S. I Love You, The Proposal, or The Princess Bride. Then stay up all night watching them.
Boy Sleepovers – Boys Drive to Best Buy to catch the midnight sale of Modern Warfare 3. Then stay up all night doing battle against evil forces.
Girl Sleepovers – “Mom, we’re going to take the family bikes and go for a bike ride to the ice cream stand.”
Boy Sleepovers – “Mom, we’re going to take apart one of the family bikes to see how it works.”
Girl Sleepovers – “Mom, can we bake brownies?
Boy Sleepovers – “Mom, we ate the entire pan of brownies and the three dozen cookies you made. Is there anything else to eat?”
Teen sleepovers…you gotta love ‘em!
Image by: Oakley Originals
Uplifting Moment...
I'm deep into Christmas preparations (like so many of you!) and spending as much time as possible talking with my girl who is home from college, my hubs who is officially on vacation, and my boy--in between his many social engagements. So in light of this, I'm taking a little bloggie break.
But never fear! I'll not abandon my blog completely during this time. To add an uplifting moment to your holiday season, I'm posting a video I posted several years ago. It has since inspired a massive international movement, but I'm going to share the 2006 video that I originally posted. I promise, if you haven't already seen it (and even if you have) it's totally worth the short commercial you must endure to watch it. Enjoy!
But never fear! I'll not abandon my blog completely during this time. To add an uplifting moment to your holiday season, I'm posting a video I posted several years ago. It has since inspired a massive international movement, but I'm going to share the 2006 video that I originally posted. I promise, if you haven't already seen it (and even if you have) it's totally worth the short commercial you must endure to watch it. Enjoy!
Twenty Something
The other day, my son told me a story which he found most amusing. An acquaintance of his turned eighteen. Amidst birthday congrats posted on her Facebook page from various friends, her mother added the comment, “Woo Hoo! I’m free! I’m free!”
I laughed out loud along with him, then I commented, “But you know, we’re never really free. We’ll always be ‘the mom’ (or dad).”
Then I started thinking about how our parenting role keeps changing over time. With the changes getting more dramatic as our kids age. Lately I’ve been freaking out about the fact that very soon I won’t be a “…freelance writing, happily married mom of two teens.” It’s not the “freelance writing, happily married” part, but the changing “mom of two teens” part that’s causing the freak.
I believe I’ve mentioned in the past that my daughter’s birthday is on Christmas Day. My due date back in 1991 was December 16th, and as it got further and further into December without our unborn child even hinting at a debut, I remember I started praying. “Okay God, please make it any day but Christmas. Any day but Christmas. Any day but Christmas…”
Yeah, well.
If anyone out there doesn’t think God has a sense of humor, I can assure you he was most likely laughing uproariously when he had our little package delivered (Sorry honey, couldn’t resist the pun!) at 10:47 a.m. Christmas morning. I’m sure he was like, “Puh-leeeze! Your names are Chris & Holly! What other day would I have your sweet baby girl arrive!”
But I digress; it’s not her birth story that’s causing me to freak either. It’s the year. Our sweet, baby girl is turning TWENTY!
Two decades.
Four quinquennials.
One-fifth of a Century.
How can I be the parent of a twenty-year old!
Part of the problem is that although in “real life” I’m 49 years old, inside the imaginary world in which I dwell, I’m a super-cool twenty something. My body knows it’s 49 as evidenced by my annoying knee twinges, plantar fasciitis, biceps tendonitis, blah, blah, blah. But in my head I only graduated from college a few years ago.
I’m not the only one who thinks like this, am I?
It’s like, all this stuff keeps happening that logically I should know is going to happen, and yet, always seems to catch me by surprise.
Like when our oldest graduated from high school and went off to college. Or when our youngest began learning to drive.
And now this. In ten days I’ll no longer be a mother of teens. My role is changing. Again.
Sigh.
But time waits for no man, or mom. So I must press on. And in so doing, I come to the truly important part of this post. What am I supposed to do with my bio on here? Since I can no longer refer to myself as a “mom of two teens,” what am I? I don’t even know how to explain myself anymore. The mom of a twenty and teen? A mom of kids who are bigger than I am? Help me out here, people. Any suggestions?
Image by: baileyraeweaver
Cooking Burnout
For some odd reason, I’m always drawn to cookbooks and recipe magazines. It doesn’t matter if I’m in a gift shop on vacation, or waiting in line at the grocery store. They pull me in like a kid to a candy counter. And I devour them. Tasting the ingredients on my tongue as I read and dream about those dishes. Hot, fragrant and fresh from the oven.
As long as I’m not the one cooking them, that is.
Does anybody remember Lisa’s “hot cakes” from the old television show, Green Acres? Okay, I’m not that bad, but my culinary skills definitely leave something to be desired. And unfortunately, I don’t have Zsa Zsa Gabor’s “hotness” factor to make up for my lack of technique in the kitchen.
To be honest, I didn’t realize I even had a cooking problem until recently. Maybe because this deficiency hasn’t always been the case. Over the years, my culinary talents have followed a sort of bell-shaped curve.
As a teen, I started out pretty lame. Never did much cooking while living at home with my parents, aside from acting as “sous-chef” on occasion. During my college days I survived on and bologna ‘n cheese sandwiches supplemented by Doritos, M&M’s, (and sneaking tidbits from my roommates’ home-cooked meals when they weren’t looking). And believe it or not, my hubby cooked dinner the first six years we were married!
Then along came our first child. I became a stay-at-home mom and somehow making family meals ended up on my plate. I was cautious. Started out slow, following simple recipes to the letter. Gradually, my skills improved and I could diverge from the written word a bit. I even figured out how to use the Crockpot we’d received as a wedding gift.
But I think my skills must have peaked about the time my youngest was in middle school because I’ve been on a steady downhill progression ever since.
The thing is, I’m not sure why. It’s not that I don’t like cooking. Cooking is creative and I’m a creative person. Maybe the problem is I try to get too creative. Bored with simply following the recipe, I attempt to add my own personal flair…and fail. Epic fail.
I know part of the issue is being born without that female gene that allows women to multitask. Whenever I am cooking, if I attempt even the tiniest conversation, or to answer the phone or— Heaven forbid—sit down at the computer for “just a sec,” well, forget it. Whatever lovely cuisine I had planned is history.
It’s gotten so bad my son actually photographs my failed dinner “experiments” and sends them to his sister at college with notes attached stating: “SHE EXPECTS ME TO EAT THIS!!!” My daughter in turn finds great humor in posting these photographs on the web within her own blog.
Yeah. Real funny.
I struggled with what to do about this issue, even considered pulling a trick I learned from an old college friend who once confessed he “made dinner” for his new girlfriend by ordering delicious Chinese food from a local restaurant, then raced home to dump it all into his own pots and pans before she arrived.
But that could get expensive.
Then I considered taking cooking lessons. But my youngest is now a junior in high school. In two years we’re empty nesters. What do I need great cooking skills for then? I don’t even have to pretend I’m eating my vegetables anymore if I don’t want to.
I finally concluded the real problem is: I’m burned out. Heck, after 20 years of cooking for my family, I’m ready to retire. So instead of cooking lessons, I think it’s time to pass the scorch—er, torch. Yessiree, maybe I’ll just kick back and let my beloved children do the cooking. How about that? My son can handle the school year, and my daughter can take care of the summers. Sure, they may not be happy about it at first. But I’m actually helping them develop a necessary life skill. It’s only good parenting, right? And for me, it’s a win-win. Nice dinners on the table every night (at least none worse than I’m serving now), and I don’t have to listen to any more jokes or view any more online pictures of my cooking fiascos.
And just for the record, I am a decent baker. I make great snickerdoodles and a mean batch of M & M/chocolate chip cookies. So I’ll still be able to pull off the successful cookie-baking grandma role someday. But for now…
Seriously. I think it’s a good plan.
It’s got potential.
How I Spent My Summer: Adventures in Paris - The Final Chapter
It was our last Parisian morning. We checked out of our apartment (sniff, sniff), but since our flight home didn’t leave until later in the afternoon we enjoyed a final stroll through the city streets and along the Champs D’Élysées. Here are some of our more memorable street shots…
The ornate architecture is so inspiring…
Several times we had these “party busses” drive past us!
And check out the way Parisians park!
Whenever somebody wants to leave, they just start whacking against the cars in front and behind until they eventually maneuver their way out of the parking space. I guess that’s what “bumpers” are for, er, oui?
We also took one final sightseeing excursion to the top of the Arc de Triomphe.
As we stood in line to go to the top, I once again took advantage of my captive audience and shared the fact that this 160-foot triumphal arch was planned by Napoleon. He liked to think of himself as an heir to the Roman emperors so he had the arch built to celebrate his military successes. It’s actually inspired by Rome’s Arch of Titus. Check out the similarities…
Arch of Titus
Arc de Triomphe
Also, France’s Tomb of the Unknown Soldier is buried beneath the archway to honor soldiers lost in World War I. The Eternal Flame is rekindled every evening.
Here’s a detail of one side of the arch showing this incredible sculpture by Francois Rude, titled The Departure of the Volunteers, honoring the hallowed figures who fell on the fields of battle.
Finally, we climbed the nearly 300 steps to the top to see L’Étoile, the “star” effect of the 12 radiating avenues below.
Here’s the amazing vista down the Champs D’Élysées.
And see that massive hollowed-out square-frame structure in the horizon? That is La Défense, Europe's largest purpose-built business district.
Then…it was time.
Exhausted, we trudged onto the airplane where we discovered my well-travelled hubby had arranged a surprise for us. He’d used his Frequent Flyer Miles to upgrade all of us to Business Class! It was so awesome!
I realize all of you regular business class travelers won’t be impressed by this, but for the rest of you: Our seats reclined nearly horizontal without impacting the person sitting behind us at all! And the provided blankies were much bigger, warmer and comfier than mere economy class blankies.
Chris, the well-seasoned traveler that he is, immediately set up his bed and went to sleep. I knew I should have done the same thing but I was way too excited to sleep. Who knew when I would get to experience amenities like this again?! So instead, I enjoyed a marathon “chick flick fest” on my supersize movie screen while sipping champagne and dining on some of the best Parisian cuisine of our trip. I also played with every button, switch and lever available. I couldn’t believe Chris was sleeping through all this great stuff! Oh, to be so cavalier about such luxury! And apparently, he did not appreciate me waking him up to share every new found delight I encountered.
All in all it was an incredible adventure. Au Revoir Paris! Until next time!
Epilogue
HOLLY: Oh. My. Gosh! Chris, hey Chris! This airplane seat has a massager in it!
CHRIS: Zzzzzzz.
JOSH: Mooooom! Ashleigh took champagne when the flight attendant was passing them out before the flight!
ASHLEIGH: Cut it out, Josh! I thought it was apple juice!
HOLLY: Never mind. We’re technically still in Paris, so it’s not illegal. Did you guys see that the seats have massagers in them?
CHRIS: Zzzzzzz.
If you’re feeling particularly inspired, click the links below for my previous Parisian posts:
Parts I-II (just skip the Quotes of the Week!)
Parts III – V (ditto note above!)
All photographs © Holly, Chris & Ashleigh Bowne unless otherwise noted.
How I Spent My Summer: Adventures in Paris VII
It was our last full day in Paris. So after dining on light, flaky sacristain (LOVE those!!) and other pastries for breakfast…
Image by: Jack06
We travelled to the Palace of Versailles!
The line to get in was over two hours long. (Naturally!)
And I could see Chris already shaking his head, preparing to leave. But I was desperate! Approaching the entrance security guard, I summoned the skills earned from my single year of college French. I indicated the line and said, “Pardon monsieur, mais est-il une autre option?
“Oui!” he replied. Then in really great English, he explained we could save time by purchasing our tickets from a restaurant directly across the street. Dashing between cars, we bought the tickets, dashed back and made it inside the palace within 45 minutes!
The intriguing story behind this opulent structure is this: In 1661, King Louis XIV’s finance minister, Nicolas Fouquet invited the king for a weekend of lavish entertainment at his luxurious new château. Twenty-two-year-old Louis felt his authority was being undermined by Fouquet’s show of wealth, so after the festivities, he had Fouquet tossed in prison on trumped-up charges, then hired his talented building team to start work on what later became the Palace of Versailles. Louis wanted his palace to embody the divine majesty and absolute power of the French monarchy; it took 20 years and over 30,000 men to build.
Years later, Louis XVI and Marie-Antoinette’s extravagant taste in decorating—which is apparent throughout this incredible structure—along with Louis’ military campaigns abroad, eventually drained the royal treasury, inspiring revolution and the end of Versailles as the royal seat of power.
Versailles Chapel
Many of the rooms are named after Roman gods and goddesses. Here is a famous Bernini bust of Louis XIV in the Salon de Diane. (Diana Room—Roman goddess of the hunt.)
Since I’d just finished reading Diana Gabaldon’s historical Outlander series, which incorporates this palace into the events of one of the stories, I was thrilled to see the glittering Galerie des Glaces (Hall of Mirrors) for myself.
It’s renowned as one of the most famous rooms in the world, holding 17 mirror-clad arches—each with 21 mirrors—reflecting the 17 arcaded windows overlooking the amazing Versailles gardens.
I could just envision the room at night, lit by hundreds of candles. Dancers swirling past in beautiful gowns of colorful silk…
It did not disappoint!
“Hey Josh,” I said as I squinted through my camera viewfinder, snapping photo after photo. “Did you know that it was in this very room that Otto Bismarck proclaimed the unified German Empire in 1871? Then ironically the Treaty of Versailles declaring Germany’s responsibility for World War I was signed here in 1919.”
“That’s interesting, mom.” Josh said. “I’m going to go check out that beautiful garden view from the window.” He was off in a flash. That’s strange. Josh never cares about beautiful garden views at home.
Aside from the Hall of Mirrors, I was most thrilled to tour the amazing gardens of Versailles. Arguably the most famous gardens in the world…
Designed by Andre Le Nôtre between 1661 and 1700, the lawns are painstakingly manicured featuring parterres of flowers, sculptures and fountains in classic French Baroque style.
That’s the Grand Canal. It’s an original creation of Le Nôtre, and was the setting for King Louis XIV’s nautical spectacles. In the summer, his fleet of reduced model ships sailed its length.
We found the sculpted shrubbery most inspiring.
Good times, good times.
Arriving back in Paris, we wandered the banks of the Seine, browsing the treasure-filled iconic “green boxes” of the outdoor booksellers, or bouquinistes.
The bouquinistes have been a Parisian tradition since the 16th century, and you can often spot them in famous Paris landscapes, particularly from the Impressionist period.
Pariser Büchermarkt (Bouquinistes)
Creator:Fritz Westendorp (1867 Köln – 1926 Düsseldorf)
Image by: AndreasPraefcke
Deciding the evening was still young, we took a sunset river cruise down the Seine.
With vintage French accordion music as our backdrop, we viewed the famous bridges of Paris.
(Okay, this guy isn’t exactly “vintage” but this is a good sample of the type of music we listened to so you can get the full effect:
This shot was taken on dry land, but here we have Paris’ controversial “Love Locks.”
Apparently couples inscribe their names on padlocks and attach them to the wire-mesh bridge railings, then toss the key into the Seine below in a poetic declaration of everlasting love. Aaaah, le romance! (Or vandalism, depending on your point of view.)
It was such a beautiful Sunday evening. Parisians relaxed by the riverside waving, playing music and blowing us kisses as we passed…
It was the perfect end to our final night in Paris.
Tune in next week for my final Parisian post!
All photographs © Holly, Chris & Ashleigh Bowne unless otherwise noted.
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