My daughter and I have a pretty open relationship. She’s actually a really cool kid, way more level-headed and mature than I was at 17. But she presented me with a dilemma a few weeks ago, and I still haven’t decided what to do about it.
We were sitting around one afternoon, and she mentioned that one of her 16-year-old friends, whom I’ll refer to as TT (Teen Trouble!) had begun drinking alcohol. TT is not a close friend of my daughter’s, more of an acquaintance-type friend. TT told her that (s)he drank alcohol whenever visiting a certain friend’s house. TT explained the friend’s parents not only provided the alcohol, but played drinking games with TT along with their own child. The reason TT’s parents don’t know is because TT spends the night at the friend’s home whenever they drink. I was shocked; and had an immediate flashback to my own teen years.
When I was in high school, there were some parents who provided alcohol to their children and friends who came over. Their philosophy was that “hey, they’re going to do it anyway, may as well get wasted here in my house.” Of course, as a kid, I never thought much about it, except to be impressed at how “cool” so-and-so’s parents were. But now, looking through the eyes of a parent….
What the heck is wrong with these “adults”?! Is it really that important to be the “cool” parent? And news flash: it is so NOT cool!
So now comes the dilemma part. I sat down and wrote a letter to the parents of my daughter’s acquaintance. It is still sitting in my planner pocket. Unmailed. I hesitate for several reasons: I don’t know TT’s parents very well, and I certainly don’t know the parents who are providing the alcohol. I don’t want my daughter to feel she can’t share things with me anymore.
I’ve thought about sending the letter anonymously. The problem is I don’t know how many other people TT has told. Would there be repercussions against my daughter? But, if the situation were reversed, I would want to know!
I’m torn about how to handle this. What would you do?
Image by: Timsnell
We were sitting around one afternoon, and she mentioned that one of her 16-year-old friends, whom I’ll refer to as TT (Teen Trouble!) had begun drinking alcohol. TT is not a close friend of my daughter’s, more of an acquaintance-type friend. TT told her that (s)he drank alcohol whenever visiting a certain friend’s house. TT explained the friend’s parents not only provided the alcohol, but played drinking games with TT along with their own child. The reason TT’s parents don’t know is because TT spends the night at the friend’s home whenever they drink. I was shocked; and had an immediate flashback to my own teen years.
When I was in high school, there were some parents who provided alcohol to their children and friends who came over. Their philosophy was that “hey, they’re going to do it anyway, may as well get wasted here in my house.” Of course, as a kid, I never thought much about it, except to be impressed at how “cool” so-and-so’s parents were. But now, looking through the eyes of a parent….
What the heck is wrong with these “adults”?! Is it really that important to be the “cool” parent? And news flash: it is so NOT cool!
So now comes the dilemma part. I sat down and wrote a letter to the parents of my daughter’s acquaintance. It is still sitting in my planner pocket. Unmailed. I hesitate for several reasons: I don’t know TT’s parents very well, and I certainly don’t know the parents who are providing the alcohol. I don’t want my daughter to feel she can’t share things with me anymore.
I’ve thought about sending the letter anonymously. The problem is I don’t know how many other people TT has told. Would there be repercussions against my daughter? But, if the situation were reversed, I would want to know!
I’m torn about how to handle this. What would you do?
Image by: Timsnell
